Author: Wes

Writer, runner, student.

adjusting to life back home, after a year abroad (a few quick thoughts)

The first culture shock is when you arrive in a faraway land. The second culture shock is when you arrive back home.

The second one is stronger.

~

Life in a quiet suburb of San José, California is much different from life in the bustling student town of Utrecht in the Netherlands.

For one thing, I can’t bike around everywhere like I used to — not unless I feel like getting flattened by the cars crossing into the painted bike lane. Favorite places and favorite people are no longer accessible on a whim. I miss that freedom.

It’s daily life and daily routines that I miss the most. I miss skating on the ice. I miss stroopwafels, late-night kapsalons, and the raw herring they sold at the Saturday market. I miss tea times with my neighbors. I miss the coffees with friends, and coffees alone out in town. I miss the Friday afternoon drinks that took place every week, at the same time, at the same place, with the same people. Oh, what I would do just to hear a Dutchie raise their pitch every time they say “doei!”

What a special time it was!

~

It’s easy to romanticize the past, especially when it means so much to you.

But I know I will find reasons to love it back home, just as I have found many, many reasons to love my time in Utrecht.

flight MH17 & the Netherlands

About a week ago the Netherlands held a National Day of Mourning for the civilian plane that was shot down over Ukraine. My flight back home was on that day.

Utrecht University released the names of some of the victims. I didn’t know any of them personally, but the Netherlands is a small country, so there’s a good chance I’m only two degrees of separation away from them.

Curiosity led me to search them up on Facebook. Turns out I’m only one degree of separation away — we even study in the same buildings. Privacy measures prevent you from looking at much else other than their profile picture and cover photos, but it’s easy to imagine them as one of your friends or classmates.

Coming home after a year abroad

It’s been nearly a year since I’ve seen Mom and Dad’s face. (I can see my brother’s on Facebook). We would Skype together throughout the year, but the connection would always go to to their land line instead of the computer.

I haven’t forgotten what they look like, but it would be interesting to see how (and if) they have changed from what I remember. Marc says they’ll probably have less wrinkles since I’ve been away from home (ha ha).

And how have I changed? I won’t know the full extent of that until life starts to settle down.

In terms of outside appearances, I have some facial hair growing on the bottom of my chin (hooray!), but not nearly enough to tickle someone. Dad will probably tell me to shave it off.

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Anyways, it’ll be good to see the folks back home.

a quick update

And just like that, my year abroad in the Netherlands has come to an end. Wow-wee, what an adventure! There are a lot of things I want to write about, and have yet to write about — but that will have to wait for another time.

New posts starting at the end of July, when I return home to California.

 

 

a few thoughts before running my first marathon

In about ten hours I will be running my first marathon. My good friend and neighbor Brian will be running his first half-marathon. We’ve been training for months, but there’s still that sense of nervousness and anticipation. (Or: butterflies in the stomach, so to speak).

Good for motivation. Not so good for sleeping.

~

I’ve never been to Amersfoort before. It’s about 30 km away from Utrecht, and I hear it has a gorgeous city center.

~

It’s our last month here in Utrecht as exchange students. Running the marathon would be (or at least I thought at the time) a good way to end the year well. One more personal challenge before heading out.

Our good friends and neighbors said they would come watch and support us while we ran. That’s a warm feeling, to know that someone is cheering you on.

~

I’m a bit worried about nipple chaffing, especially after seeing some photos from Google Images. But I will worry about running the race first.

My goal is to cross that finish line. A good meal with good company afterwards would be lovely, too.

de weer

The entrance at De Uithof library in Utrecht, during a hailstorm last month.

Dutch weather is notoriously unpredictable. And like the average ambitious twenty-year-old, Dutch weather is also indecisive.

Will today be filled with sunshine? Rain? Thunder? Dutch weather can’t stand to make a decision, so it gives a bit of everything instead. That just ends up making everybody confused.

“Het hoort erbij”

Loosely translated from Dutch: “part of the deal”

photo credit: juhansonin via photopin cc

I was chatting with Ingrid, the owner of Café Hooi right around closing time. I asked her how things were going since it’s been a few weeks since I first visited (and she still remembered our last conversation!).

Hoe is het? — Aah, goed — Waarom goed?

Ingrid said she felt good when she spent some time with her newborn son earlier in the morning.

“Even changing his diapers?”

“Well, not so much that. But it’s part of the deal.”

 

 

photo credit: juhansonin via photopin cc

an idea for a bedtime routine, or an exercise in gratitude and perspective

Every night before you head off to bed, write down with pen and paper:
  • Three good experiences you had during the day, and
  • why those good experiences happened, or
  • why you think these were good experiences.

You will soon find that:

  • This habit is easily maintained. It takes about fifteen minutes, and you can quickly get back into practice if you miss a day.
  • It becomes an effective way to remind yourself of all the wonderful things that happen in your life regularly. We all need reminders from time to time.

~

But what happens if I struggle to find even three good things today?

Some days are harder than others, definitely. If that is a genuine statement, then I won’t resort to a platitude (e,g, there’s always a silver lining! as the Americans like to say) or tell you to get over it. Few people actively wish for a shitty day.

But if you’ve done this exercise for a while, you can take a look back at your previous entries when you’re in a slump. Perhaps a brief visit to a past memory is all you need to keep on going.

Rotten days are rotten for a reason, and remembering three good things that happened during the day won’t change that. But over time, those rotten days become less suffocating and dominating — especially in comparison to everything else that has gone well in your life.

I like this exercise because it’s a good way to stay sane and in good spirits.

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My good neighbors Brian and Maja have been making this a daily conversation topic at night, and I do enjoy hearing what they have to say. I got the idea from them.