I spent the bulk of the holidays in my childhood home in San Jose, California — my first time back after nearly two years of New York living. It’s cozy to have a place to return to. Family reunions revolve around food, drink, and giggly conversation (especially if my brother is there, too). They always have.
The neighborhood looks the same as when I left it, save for a few additions. The childhood park has some new outdoor exercise machines. Some new boba shops opened up (each one called Tiger-something), and now there’s this new Code Ninja tutoring service that promises to teach your 5-year-old kid Python and Java (tell me you’re in Silicon Valley without telling me you’re in Silicon Valley). But the biggest shocker is how my favorite cash-only pho place now accepts credit cards.
I hit some big boy milestones in 2021. To start, the Citibike app tells me I’m a top 1% user of their heavy bicycles. No extra perks come with that one aside from feeling cool.
But another one is how I moved into my own apartment studio (300 square feet!) in the East Village next to my adorable Italian landlord, Alberto. He sends me funny WhatsApp messages and invites me to artsy galleries and events when he’s not in Rome. The apartment itself has a cute fire escape that feels good to sit on during the warmer months. And the East Village neighborhood is popping, with a vibrant arts and munchies scene, curious characters with boomboxes and tricked out e-bikes in Tompkins Square Park, and NYU students wandering around in the evenings. All this makes me feel young and hip. I’d like to call this home for a long while.
I also turned 27; I’ve had a couple months of trying it out. My older friends tell me 27 is a good age. They talk about it as if it were so far away, even though they’re only in their 30s. At 27, you’re still in your hot years, a bit more established in your career (maybe), and less of an angsty mess than in the early 20s — or at least that’s the case with me. I’m definitely feeling more confident than I did last year, and I wonder if it has anything to do with the New York magic rubbing off on me.
27 is also the age of increased expectations; both the ones people have of you, and the ones you have of yourself. I’m not getting any younger, and it’s getting a bit harder to play the hey-I’m-fresh-out-of-school card that I enjoyed playing so much back then, especially when asking strangers for career and life advice. I watch the NYU undergrad students lollygaggle around the East Village and Washington Square Park, and almost envy them (until I realize it’s difficult to live in the city if you don’t have a scholarship or big piggy bank, let alone concentrate on textbooks). Being 27 also just means I see more new babies, doggies, and engagement rings in my Facebook and Instagram feeds.
2021 was also the first year in my life where algorithms made an outsized difference in who I actually met and became friends with in the world. The year started off lonely and miserable with the pandemic, but then a few apps on my phone helped kickstart a sense of belonging in the big city:
- Clubhouse: I downloaded it in February 2020, thinking it would be a fun way to listen in on juicy conversations while doing my laundry or on lunch breaks. I ended up spending many of my waking hours on it (40 hours a week almost during the winter and spring of 2020, whoops) along with other people who were lonely, bored, or craving social contact during the lockdowns. The rooms I hung around the most were the coworking spaces (imagine a virtual WeWork except with half the room starting their workday and making coffee, and then the other half going for tea or ending their day), late-night relationship gossip rooms, and the Asian diaspora rooms. I ended up meeting new friends around the world, some of whom even came to visit New York City — many of them even live in New York City! So that’s been a blessing.
- Dating apps: cheers to the makers of Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge! I’ve met a lot of vibrant, smart, interesting women through them — sometimes I can’t help but think it’s easier to go on a date in New York City than it is to make a dear friend in adulthood. (I wonder if many of my dates feel the same way). For years I felt embarrassed about being a late bloomer when it comes to love and romance. Turns out no one really cares. Sweet!
Some questions to start off the year in 2022:
- What can I do to be a better faraway friend? For dear friends who are farther away (different state, different country), I have been horrendous in leaving messages to marinate for weeks and months! Even my snail mail habits have fallen. So maybe instead of thinking that every catch-up has to be a long-winded message or letter, or hours-long at a time, I could start with postcards, or goofy memes. There are many ways to say “I am thinking of you”.
- What can I do to be a better local friend? Just in general I’ve been thinking about friendships and relationships a lot more these days, as they’re a large part of what makes NYC feel more like home. I think I’m getting better at intentionally initiating hangout plans with friends these days compared to my time in California when I took a more passive approach (especially since in New York it seems like people makes plans days or weeks out in advance), but it’s still something I have to actively work on — especially since I value alone time as well. In my youth I got spoiled by awesome friends who would take on most of the planning work. It’s unfair of me to expect that from people (although it’s lovely when it happens).
- How can I improve my hand-eye coordination, and learn skills beyond research? I’ve been yapping about taking bartending classes and ceramics classes since I first moved to NYC. I don’t know why I kept delaying it. There’s a certain confidence and grounding in the real world that I’ve seen people who develop their craft with physical materials have that people who work with pixels & screens alone may not have — and I want that so much! To be able to think with my hands, and make something new with just a block of clay or colorful liquid courage. I signed up for some bartending classes to start off with; they start next week.
There’s actually a lot more I’d like to work on for 2022, but let’s start with those three questions for now. I don’t want to get too greedy.
That’s it for now! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂