Category: Misc.

a brief thought about summer and lingering

Shortly before school ended I had a conversation with Geoffrey on the bench by Ledden Auditorium instead of going to class. We met a few years earlier. He would tutor me in the AP&M (Applied Physics and Mathematics) basement, and if it weren’t for him I would have flunked out of calculus my first year. He’s a Ph.D. student now and I’m still an undergrad, but we enjoy the same benches and beaches and books, and we bump into each other from time to time.

Skipping lecture runs contrary to the good-student-role, but I also remembered to keep it in perspective. There’s more to enjoy and learn from lingering on the bench with a good person instead of rushing from lecture to lecture, so I could cram a few extra facts I’d soon forget.

We talked about summer, among other things.

  • Summers are some of the best times of personal growth. You have time to reflect and take stock of all that you’ve done throughout the year. Am I going where I want to go? What are my priorities? Do my actions align with what I consider important to me? and other questions that often get buried in everyday busy work.
  • Also important is to cherish the current summer we have. There are really only a limited number of “true” restful, even idle summers in life. After I graduate (next year, eek!) there’s probably not going to be another summer when I can just stick my head in the clouds all day — unless I decide to go into academia. As for Geoffrey, he’s going on a cross-continental (the way he described it) road trip from California to New York and back over the summer, with a good friend from his exchange year. He says if he survives he’ll come back with good stories.

When I finally said goodbye, Geoffrey said: “I’m glad you stayed around as long as you did.” Me, too.

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30 minutes late. Too late to sneak in without a sound or people looking, but I went in the lecture hall anyway.

roberto’s coffee recipe

The custodians at UCSD work early and long, cleaning up whatever mess the university students leave behind. Roberto is one, and I make sure to say hello when I see him. Good man. Plays soccer on the weekends with his local team. Childhood friends, he says.

On the last week of school Roberto invited me over to the custodian’s office to share a cup of coffee. Next to the supply closet is a coffeemaker, and the rest of the custodians trust Roberto to make the coffee for them. For every cup of coffee, he adds:

  • a spoonful of sugar
  • a stick of cinnamon

Cream and sugar are commonplace, but I’ve never had cinnamon in coffee before. Tastes fantastic. I told my roommate Victor from France about how Roberto made me a cup of his special brew.

“Ah yes, he made me a cup of coffee, too!”

plan b for summer

I applied (and am still applying) for summer internships, but nothing is biting so far. The boat’s sailing away, and I’m disappointed that I’m not on it — not because I feel entitled to ride on that boat, but because I feel like I could have run a little faster to the harbor to catch it.

But that’s how it goes sometimes. That boat’s gone, but I can get on the next one.

The last thing I want to do over the summer is just sit on my ass, and I told Tavish I wouldn’t mind scooping ice cream or something like that. Anything, really. My friend Kenny had done it a couple years ago, and he said it’s more tiring than one would imagine. Scooping ice cram is good for character, and it’s good for the forearms.

Tavish: “Don’t forget to switch arms. You wouldn’t want one to be bigger than the other.”

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A daydream: an attractive woman walks up and squeezes my right arm. You working out?  Nah, I tell her. Just scooping ice cream.

my brother graduated from high school today

I wasn’t able to attend the ceremony, but Mom sent me some photos over text and my brother Jeremy sent me some funny snapchats. I asked him over the phone if he was getting sentimental about it. Nah, not really, he said.

I wonder how I felt about high school graduation three years ago. Like him, I was ready to move on. But when I look back, I actually had a great high school experience. I try not to speak for other people, but it looks like he did, too.

Many of the teachers he had, I once had. And some of the activities and teams I joined (cross-country running, badminton), he also joined.  So it was fun to ask him throughout the years what he thought of the same teachers and the same experiences. Even funnier when we notice the same quirks about the folks who dared to teach and coach rowdy teenagers for a living. We are brothers, after all.

So those are the phone conversations I will miss. No more juicy gossip from a place I once knew.

“stay dry” as a goodbye

Odd hearing that in San Diego. It rarely rains, and when it does, it’s usually just a bunch of overcast skies and a light drizzle. The most that ever happens is that the fabric seat on my bicycle absorbs all the rainwater, so I walk into class looking like I soiled myself.

Geoffrey and I had a conversation on a wooden bench yesterday about this (among other things). We’d both take periods of storms over constant half-assed sprinkles any day. Storms are cathartic. Light sprinkles just leave you expecting and wanting more. Maybe it’s the shared physical risk that comes from being belted with the kinds of winds that can knock over trees, or getting hit from hail the size of golf balls. Maybe it’s because the harsh weather outside makes for better reading weather, and makes for a better excuse to get cozy with one another (not that you needed an excuse, but it helps). Or maybe it’s because it just leaves for a better show.

But the weather never takes your personal preferences into consideration. Why should it?

pierre’s coffee tip

Pierre likes coffee. Me, too. But Pierre from Normandy (not sure if that’s related) says he likes to put pepper in his, especially when he has a lot of reading to do at once. Here’s how he goes about it:

  1. Pour half a cup of coffee into the mug.
  2. Sprinkle lots of crushed black pepper (just the generic ones from the grocery store) into the coffee.
  3. Pour the rest of the coffee inside.

I generally stay away from peppers in drinks, but Pierre swears by it. Works well with mint tea, too, he says.

not nancy

The basement of Geisel Library has these super-sweet headphones that you can borrow with your student I.D. — the kind that curls around your ear and makes it so that Taylor Swift can serenade you as you write your e-mails and do your homework.

I tend to go into the library during the same times, so I see the same folks behind the receptionist counter. One woman in particular has a warm smile that can brighten the entire room.

“Hi there, could I borrow some headphones?”

“Sure”, she would say. Or: “sorry, we’re out.”

“Okay, no worries.” I knew her in no other context, although I would find myself hoping to see her again whenever I borrow headphones.

Then last Friday I saw her up in the town of Del Mar; apparently we both knew the birthday boy. We had a solid conversation about what we wanted to do with our lives in the backyard. She wants to be a middle school or high school teacher, “even if they’re a handful”. I didn’t have a straight answer myself, but I said something about education or healthcare looking interesting, since I’ve found that “uhh, I don’t know” never really gives anything for the other person to build off of or respond to in conversations (even if it’s true). She gave me her beer.

This morning she recognizes me. “Wesley, right?” I’m elated that she remembers, but now I feel doubly bad for not remembering hers. Most library employees wear a name tag, but she is not wearing hers today. (Of course that would happen).  I remember everything else!! I wanted to say.

“Nancy, right?”

“It’s Haley.”

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There are bigger things to worry about in the world, but it’s still embarrassing.

chasing happiness

I went to a student talk about finding happiness and fulfillment the other day. He introduced himself as a motivational coach, bouncing around the stage, projecting his voice and striking the same power poses I saw in that TED talk about the importance of body language. He was a smiley guy.

I like to think of myself as a smiley guy, too, so I was curious if we shared similar perspectives on life. I found him afterwards and asked: “so what do you do when you’re sad?” 

I ask this because when you’re known as a smiley person, sometimes people (usually acquaintances) will begin to question your motives, your sanity, and your place in your life. They’ll make comments like:

  1. You must not have any problems in life. [creating distance; “you don’t have it rough like I do”]
  2. You must be on drugs. [creating distance; you’re not normal]
  3. You’re like a cartoon character. [creating distance; you’re not human]

After a while it starts to hurt. I have other thoughts and feelings, too! I wondered if he felt the same kind of disconnect at times.

“No man, you just gotta stay positive, day after day. You gotta make it a habit until it becomes a part of you”. It was just the two of us speaking, but he still kept the stage persona. The conversation didn’t go further than that, and I walked away feeling frustrated.

I’m all for healthy habits, but there’s also the point where you have to acknowledge other emotions, too. What about loneliness? Disappointment? Envy? Anger?

Know the scope of those “negative” emotions and you will find new ways to relate and connect with the people you care about. That’s where true emotional depth and fulfillment comes from.

But hey, maybe he knows something I don’t.