Category: Misc.

In about ten hours I will be running my first marathon. My good friend and neighbor Brian will be running his first half-marathon. We’ve been training for months, but there’s still that sense of nervousness and anticipation. (Or: butterflies in the stomach, so to speak).

Good for motivation. Not so good for sleeping.

~

I’ve never been to Amersfoort before. It’s about 30 km away from Utrecht, and I hear it has a gorgeous city center.

~

It’s our last month here in Utrecht as exchange students. Running the marathon would be (or at least I thought at the time) a good way to end the year well. One more personal challenge before heading out.

Our good friends and neighbors said they would come watch and support us while we ran. That’s a warm feeling, to know that someone is cheering you on.

~

I’m a bit worried about nipple chaffing, especially after seeing some photos from Google Images. But I will worry about running the race first.

My goal is to cross that finish line. A good meal with good company afterwards would be lovely, too.

I was cycling back from the gym when I saw bright disco lights coming out from The Basket, one of the cafes in De Uithof science campus. People usually only go there out of convenience, but this party looked quite fun from the outside.

The crowd outside was motioning towards me. They were all in suits and colorful gowns. Come inside! They said. But I’m all sweaty! I said.

Doesn’t matter. Come inside.

Sweet! A spontaneous party invitation. I’m confused and excited at the same time. But as I come closer, it becomes clear that everybody around me has baby faces, despite being as tall as I am. Turns out it’s a high school prom.

Technically we’re only a couple of years apart, but this isn’t the kind of party I’m trying to crash.

~

I want to leave, but they insist that I don’t go until I see somebody. The crowd gives way until there’s only one other person in front of me — the only other Asian-looking guy in the party.

Kijk! Jouw broer!

He took one look at me and turned away.  He looked annoyed and ashamed.

So was I. I just got duped by a bunch of rowdy Dutch teenagers.

[at the intersection of Weg tot de Wetenschap and Weg naar Rhijnauwen, the main turn before reaching the university campus].

I was biking towards the city center when I bumped into Rob from Germany. Rob repaired the rear brakes on my bike about a month ago. Before that, I had let my roommate Brian borrow the busted bike for brief trips. Just use your feet! I told him.

~

Rob was in a sticky situation. Someone stole his bike — only it wasn’t Rob’s bike in the first place. His friend was in Paris, and she let him borrow it for the weekend. So not only would he have to walk all the way back home in Zeist (quite far away), but he would also have to explain to his friend what just happened.

“And it’s her birthday tomorrow, too!”

~

Rob tells me that this is just a minor problem in the grand scheme of things. He has good friends. He lives in a lively, gorgeous city. He has a great life by all accounts. His friend won’t be too thrilled about losing her main form of transportation, but they’ll probably laugh about it within a week or two.

[But still, for a student this kinda sucks.]

~

Rob needs to run if he wants to get back home while it is still bright.

He takes off his sandals and continues barefoot, but not before giving me a chocolate Easter egg.

Easter holidays are here in Utrecht — this includes the two days after Easter itself.  And while the Netherlands isn’t a religious country, the cities and people still take advantage of the extra rest.

Still, it’s nice to have the grocery store open, even if it’s later during the day.

This guy looked as though he had seen a ghost. He wasn’t expecting me to stay in the Netherlands for more than a semester.

Long ago he was assigned to be my student mentor. I imagined we would chat about our life at home, share food, and go on adventures together — all in the interest of “cultural exchange”.

We met each other once and then became occasional one minute “how’s the weather” conversation buddies instead.

~

Back in December he wrote me on Facebook.

“for one of my courses me and my projectgroup have to make a short promotion video for a website we are making. In this video we want to put someone that doesn’t look Dutch…Do you want to help us?”

Huh? What do you mean, doesn’t look Dutch?! Grrrr! I remember asking myself what that meant.

But I already knew the answer to the question.

Marc and I were sitting on the benches at Café Jan Primus, near the University College Utrecht campus. It’s still a bit chilly at night to be sitting outside, but Torun, Marc’s dog, keeps farting.

“I’m telling you Wesley, it’s driving me nuts.”

Marc loves Torun regardless, but we sit outside anyway as a courtesy to the other patrons. Torun’s diet will have to change, but for now, the fresh air will do.

Dave and Merel came by to say hello. They had been drinking earlier — but oh, why not one more beer? Marc is here. And next to him is some kid who’s obviously not from around town.

We chat for a bit.

~

Marc went to the bathroom, so it was just Dave, Merel, and I for a moment.

Dave would tell me what it meant express gratitude, and what it means to find happiness and fulfillment in life. This was a familiar conversation, but the oxygen tank connected to his chair must have added extra weight to his words.

I told him I didn’t know what I was doing. He told me I had plenty of time, and that he didn’t know either, other than that he’s becoming more comfortable with himself. It wasn’t until he was thirty that he fully accepted his condition.

Even at the age of forty he still has self-doubt. That part never goes away. But for him, it’s not as suffocating as it once was.

I find that notion oddly comforting.

~

Some fun questions I like to ask couples in long-term relationships:

1) How did you two meet?
Perhaps there’s a story shared between the two. In Dave’s case, his guide dog became the first conversation topic between he and his future wife.

[On another note, being with a dog tends to make you more approachable as a man, at least to strangers — provided that the other person is not afraid of dogs.]

2) How has she influenced you?
I asked Dave how Merel influenced him. Merel was already attentive in the conversation, but I could already see her perk up.

Dave gives it some thought, then answers. Merel shared with Dave what it means to relax and enjoy life, instead of having to put on a serious face all the time because people expected him to.

I turn to Merel, and ask:

3) And how has he influenced you?
Merel gives it some thought, then answers. Dave shared with Merel what it means to be self-reliant and confident in your own abilities — instead of feeling helpless by circumstances you can’t control.

~

The things Dave and Merel mentioned were probably similar to what they say to each other in private.

But I’ve noticed that telling other people how much someone else means to you gives those special words even more weight.

The two were already in a good mood, but perhaps even better now.

~

Marc came back from the bathroom. I excused myself and went as well. I had been holding my pee this entire time, because keeping the conversation going was more important.