Wesley Chan

Thanksgiving as a holiday doesn’t exist in the Netherlands. International students hear about it all the time and are curious about what it is. “What does turkey taste like?” “Can we have a Thanksgiving dinner, too?” The Canadian students say that they have their own version some time in August, but even then it’s not such a big deal as in the U.S.

The coordinators responsible for setting up the exchange program threw a Thanksgiving dinner for the all the Californian students. Turkey, potatoes, green beans, mushrooms, the whole deal. I thought it was a generous gesture, and it was interesting to see what a lot of the Californian students have done since summer orientation. How have the friend groups changed? Did the Californians stick around Californians for the entire semester, or did they branch out and go out of their comfort zone?

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Thanksgiving may just be another day, but it never hurts to remind myself of how amazing I have it in life. I have a good family. Good friends. Good childhood. Good education. Those qualities alone already put me at an advantage over most of the world — but nope, now I also get the opportunity to  pack my bags and live in another country for an entire year. Pretty sure I’m living someone else’s dream right now.

And yet, I feel an odd sense of guilt. Without my parents’ financial support, there’s no way I could have studied abroad in the Netherlands, let alone afford the plane ticket. (Tutoring young children in English during the summer only goes so far). Why do I this opportunity, and not someone else? Someone else more compassionate, more diligent, more deserving?

A combination of dumb luck and the hard work of those who came before me can answer that question, but it doesn’t offer an answer to this — how can I ever repay this? (and I don’t mean in the financial sense)

I can’t.

But there is one thing I can do to show gratitude, and one thing you can do as well if you find yourself in a similar situation:

Share that same generosity in spirit with the people you meet everyday. When someone shares something from their own life, be it a story or tradition, respond in kind. Or at the very least, acknowledge them.

It would be a terrible waste of all the other days of the year if generosity or gratitude were only reserved for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

I’m 19 now.

Continue reading “birthdays abroad, or “growing up””

Not to be too cheeky, but there is a certain kind of relief I feel when finals week comes around. Not the stress and tension in the room as people study or procrastinate, but the fact that I now have a single goal and focus — to study and do well on the exams. On a regular week, the combination of unlimited opportunities for fun and the fear of missing out can paralyze me. But now, I can study without having to feel guilty that I’m not “making the most” out of my exchange year. Being on exchange affords some shenanigans and recklessness, but there are some basic responsibilities that students must tend do.

The threat of an incoming exam makes it easier to study. The fact that everyone else is studying for finals makes it easier as well. (Well, except for the Master’s students, but they’ve got their own set of problems). You could even say that this is positive peer pressure, depending on your opinion of traditional methods of teaching and accreditation.

But even on finals week there are still distractions. On Friday I told myself I would have a quiet night. That I would have some drinks in town with friends to relax after a day of studying, and then go straight to bed so I could wake up early in the morning to study again. Two hours later I was in the Stairway to Heaven cafe in Mariasplaat getting sprayed by glow-in-the-dark paint.

There isn’t much of a party hard, study hard culture in Utrecht, in that people turn into hermits and grind their noses into the books during the weekday and then shed their cocoon and go wild during the weekend. Goofing off and working are much more spread out. With the exception of maybe Monday night, you can go for a night out every day of the week if you really wanted to.

So it’s up to you to set up constraints for yourself. Besides, parties and meetups with friends are more fun when you’re not carrying around emotional baggage from unfulfilled responsibilities.

But then again, humans are good at justifying just about anything.