drie kusjes, or three small kisses

photo from RTLNieuws
photo from: RTL Nieuws

What an exciting concept, greeting good friends and relatives with kisses on the cheek! I loved every second of it while living in the Netherlands. Three times when you say hello, three times when you say goodbye. Left cheek or right cheek, it doesn’t matter which side you start with first, so long as you alternate between the cheeks.

American prudishness led me to believe that kissing of any kind was for lovers and parents towards their children. In California I usually just go for the bear hug. But regular kisses on the cheek are second-nature to most European cultures as a greeting. (Maybe not the Germans, but they learn quickly). I like it this way.

Soon I’d be doing this as often as I could. When Elske was working behind the bar, I’d prop myself up on the counter just for an extra few on the cheeks.

~

photo from: ANP

Everybody has their own style.

Some people make these loud mwah noises.

Some people follow it up with a hug.

Some people leave it at just that.

You never really know. Sometimes there’s that awkward limbo period while transitioning in-between the cheeks where you try to avoid bumping each others’ noses and lips, so instead each of you jolt your neck backward like a turtle.

Uh, how many kisses again?
When it comes to small talk at a party among international students, the conversation often revolves around differences between everybody’s home culture. This kissing thing is no different. I never know how many times to kiss! you’ll often hear.

With the Dutch it’s almost always three, but the other nations can be more ambiguous. The Spanish go for two, the French go for two to four depending on the region, and so on. So one person will pull away thinking it’s done while the other is left hanging.

And what if the other person doesn’t want any part of this?

(Rule of thumb: if you have to ask, then you probably shouldn’t).

Marc and André, my Friday afternoon drinking partners, said that this three kisses thing was new, and that this never showed up in their generation. Silly kids, they said. André started making the kind of duck faces you’d see on Instagram selfies to make his point clear. Marc said he may as well be a kid.

~~~

I tried giving Mom three kisses when I saw her at the airport after a year abroad, but that just led to a lot of fumbling. Silly me, I’m in a different culture now.

De Daktuin, De Uithof, Utrecht

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De Daktuin, or the rooftop garden, opens every June and September on the top floor of the giant parking structure next to the library.

It’s student-built and student-run, and it’s got this kind of “green” and “sustainable development” vibe to it. They’ve got hammocks set up and seats and booths all around, with plenty of room to breathe even during peak hours.

You can find fancy organic dishes for sale (lots of couscous dishes), and when it comes to the drinks you can get craft beers on tap (like De Leckere, but I imagine it rotates each year) and craft sodas made with ginger and exotic fruit that definitely don’t grow in the Netherlands.

In the middle of the day it’s filled with people taking a coffee break. And if the students have something to celebrate (say, the end of an exam), then perhaps an early beer will replace the coffee. By the evening, De Daktuin is popping with students.

“Wesley, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you outside of class!”

Sometimes De Daktuin will host an activity in-between. Yoga workshops, live football matches on a projection screen, live concerts performed by students. A Dutch rapper came by once.

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De Daktuin is one of my favorite places to meet up with someone. The rooftop affords a great view of the campus, and with the amount of people coming in there’s a good chance you’ll bump into someone you know.

There’s a lot of ambient noise from all the other students chattering about, but it’s not overwhelming that you can’t hear your conversation partner. You’re in a lively public place, but you and your friends can also retreat into your own cozy spot if you’d all like.

(Come to think of it, it’s a nice spot for a casual date).

When the month of June is over, the rooftop garden packs up and closes, just like how the students pack up and run off to places sunnier than the Netherlands. But no worries, de Daktuin will return once again.

Casa Confetti, De Uithof, Utrecht

Source: http://architizer.com/projects/smarties-uithof/
Source: http://architizer.com/projects/smarties-uithof/

The story goes that the architect Marlies Rohmer wanted even more colors on the Casa Confetti, but the city said no.

De Uithof, or the main science campus in Utrecht University, has a reputation for having lots of blocky, grey modern buildings. The Casa Confetti was a response to that. It’s got so many colors that it’s even called the “Smarties” building, after the candy.

It’s a residential building, but only for Dutch students. I’ve been inside twice — once for dinner and board games with my project partner, and once for a haircut.

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The Casa Confetti and its less colorful neighbor, the Unnik building.

~

“Do you like gambling?” said Sebastiaan from downstairs in the student bar. “The Casa Confetti has haircuts for only eight euros.”

That’s because the first floor of the Casa Confetti is actually a hairdressing school. The professor and the student take turns cutting your hair. I thought I’d give it a shot. I’m not a gambler, but like any good cloggie, the idea of a bargain had seduced me.

“I’ve never cut Asian hair before!” said the student hairdresser. (Apparently Asian hair is a lot thinner than the average European’s). The students there are nice and enthusiastic. Most are fresh out of high school.

I ended up getting an unintentional bowl cut, but it’s hard to gather sympathy from complaining when I only paid eight euros.

broodje rookworst

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What you see is what you get.

I used to be obsessed with the broodje rookworst. The HEMA next to the university library sold them for two euros each. I ate them as a good-luck charm before exams. I ate them as a reward after exams. I ate them whenever.

Ben, who lived right across the bridge from me, is a fellow broodje rookworst enthusiast. He used to say that he eats two of these each day after rowing practice. It’s easy to see why — they’re so simple, and so delicious.

The ingredients:

  1. brood, or bread. Hence, the broodje, or sandwich/roll.
  2. rookworst, or the type of Dutch sausage. One bite and all the juice starts squirting out. HEMA is famous for it.
  3. [optional]: mustard sauce

It’s essentially a glorified hot dog, but I ate them so often that the women working at HEMA would recognize me in bars out in town (hey, aren’t you that guy?) and would know my order before I even opened my mouth.

“neuken in de keuken”, and other ways to say hello in Dutch

photo credit: janwillemsen via photopin cc
photo credit: janwillemsen via photopin cc
Neuken in de keuken actually means “fucking in the kitchen”, but some young Dutchies like to say otherwise to unsuspecting newcomers.

It’s just a friendly way to say hello! they’ll say. The Dutchie will then tell their trusting friend to go repeat the magic phrase to the next stranger approaching on the sidewalk. Now, a request like that just smells fishy, like a barrel of hollandse nieuwe haring (delicious as it is).

I’ve seen this deployed on multiple occasions, but have yet to see it work.

Better to let the words sink in and let them come out on their own, naturally. But then you’d risk missing the show: the reaction from the recipient, and the red face of the person, who, just a minute earlier, thought they were one step closer to mastering the Dutch language.

Swear words are appealing when learning a new language. They’re easily digestible, and by memorizing a few naughty words you can feel like you’ve accomplished something. Not to mention the thrill that comes with spitting out lines that gets laughs from the lads and glares from your grandmother.

In this context, the Dutch are easy to please. Anything a foreigner says in Dutch will sound funny to a Dutchie. Extra laughs for salty language.

If dank je wel (thank you) and alstublieft (you’re welcome/here you are) are the most memorized phrases among the international students, then neuken in de keuken will probably be #5. Top 10 at least.

san jose vs utrecht: the weather

Here’s how a conversation would sometimes start while living in the Netherlands, especially if I met a new Dutchie:

-Where are you from?

-Oh, I’m from California.

-California?! Why would you go here?! 

Then they would flap their arms about, or put their hands on their head, as though I had swapped a sunny paradise for a place with constant rain and no hill in sight (and because the weather is a safe and sure topic when meeting someone new).  “I didn’t come here for the weather” would be my standard response.

Weather predictions for the same day, August 8th, 2014.

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Screenshot 2014-08-08 00.07.22

Marc says I’m missing a spectacular rain storm in the Netherlands — the kind that messes up the sewer pipes and floods the old neighborhood. Spectacular to witness, but not so spectacular when those sewer pipes are underneath your doorstep.

Joke’s on California though. The entire state is going through a drought.

 

Weather forecast from Google / The Weather Channel.

adjusting to life back home, after a year abroad (a few quick thoughts)

The first culture shock is when you arrive in a faraway land. The second culture shock is when you arrive back home.

The second one is stronger.

~

Life in a quiet suburb of San José, California is much different from life in the bustling student town of Utrecht in the Netherlands.

For one thing, I can’t bike around everywhere like I used to — not unless I feel like getting flattened by the cars crossing into the painted bike lane. Favorite places and favorite people are no longer accessible on a whim. I miss that freedom.

It’s daily life and daily routines that I miss the most. I miss skating on the ice. I miss stroopwafels, late-night kapsalons, and the raw herring they sold at the Saturday market. I miss tea times with my neighbors. I miss the coffees with friends, and coffees alone out in town. I miss the Friday afternoon drinks that took place every week, at the same time, at the same place, with the same people. Oh, what I would do just to hear a Dutchie raise their pitch every time they say “doei!”

What a special time it was!

~

It’s easy to romanticize the past, especially when it means so much to you.

But I know I will find reasons to love it back home, just as I have found many, many reasons to love my time in Utrecht.