Neuken in de keuken actually means “fucking in the kitchen”, but some young Dutchies like to say otherwise to unsuspecting newcomers.
It’s just a friendly way to say hello! they’ll say. The Dutchie will then tell their trusting friend to go repeat the magic phrase to the next stranger approaching on the sidewalk. Now, a request like that just smells fishy, like a barrel of hollandse nieuwe haring (delicious as it is).
I’ve seen this deployed on multiple occasions, but have yet to see it work.
Better to let the words sink in and let them come out on their own, naturally. But then you’d risk missing the show: the reaction from the recipient, and the red face of the person, who, just a minute earlier, thought they were one step closer to mastering the Dutch language.
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Swear words are appealing when learning a new language. They’re easily digestible, and by memorizing a few naughty words you can feel like you’ve accomplished something. Not to mention the thrill that comes with spitting out lines that gets laughs from the lads and glares from your grandmother.
In this context, the Dutch are easy to please. Anything a foreigner says in Dutch will sound funny to a Dutchie. Extra laughs for salty language.
If dank je wel (thank you) and alstublieft (you’re welcome/here you are) are the most memorized phrases among the international students, then neuken in de keuken will probably be #5. Top 10 at least.
